Mori's Room

Mori blinked and looked down to theirs hands guiltily as if he felt like he had failed to do something right and he was quiet as he collected his thoughts that seemed to run wild and out of his grasp. Though Kyuzo didn't look like it, Mori could tell that the other was still saddened by the thought and he had knew he had to answer fast ebcause he didn't want his friend to be hurt. He felt better when he was with Kyuzo but it also felt rushed to him. His chest hd ached painfully before and it was still there though barely noticed. He also couldn't just take back his actions. That would be incrediebly selfish.
"Kyuzo-kun. My feelins are not quite...as strong as yours. But they are also more than enough that I cannot even consider you as a friend or a bestfriend or even a brother...I can learn. I was hurt before because I never connected with another being before. But I can learn. I just need a little time..."

Kyuzo was unknown to the slight movement in his eye for it twitched, closing his only eye did he nod trying his best to understand what Mori had said. "Hai, I can't help but feel that I pushed you into something to quickly. Gomenosai..." The adult still kept his eyes down and he softly let go of Mori's hand before looking to the side now feeling that pain back in his chest. Kyuzo knew it wasn't a yes as well as a no, something could still happen but in a way it probably wouldn't work out. Kyuzo knew that Mori had been through to much personally. "I'll go gather my things then, you need a little time and I guess it would be best for me to depart so you can think clearly" Kyuzo didn't want to hurt the only one that stood by him through so much, and maybe later on will they actually come to agree on their feelings but he had to understand that it would take time. Due to his recklessness he had put to much on Mori, Kyuzo was saddened by that fact.

Mori blinked and he lowered his eyes, ears falling low nearly disapearing into his hair and he listened, trying to get that feeling out of him that made him think that he had failed at soemthing but he wasn't quite sure what. The neko gripped onto the front of Kyuzo's kimono and lowered his head, burying his face into the man's chest. With hlf his body on Kyuzo's, it would have been difficult to get up and with him clinging tightly to his friend might have made it all the more difficult. He didn't let go nor did he loosen his grip as he lightly shook his head to Kyuzo's second comment, not saying a word.

Kyuzo was slightly surprised by the clinging from Mori and deciding to just sit there did he look to Mori silently, moving his eye to look to the side the adult looked ashamed. The 185 year old didn't know what to say or do so he just looked to Mori with a slightly pained expression. Kyuzo understood that Mori didn't want him to leave and so he just sat there looking to him as he continued to cling to him. Kyuzo closed his eye silently and after doing that for a short time did he open his eye and looked to Mori curiously for he didn't know what Mori will say or do afterwards.

Mori clung to Kyuzo and didn't explain his actions because he was sure how to word them without sounding like a selfish child. He buried his face into Kyuzo's chest, while his ears were noticeably gone into his hair, still there but neraly unseen in his black locks. His tail had gone limp upon the bed in an obvious change of depression or manner of sadness. He didn't want Kyuzo to leave jsut because he wasn't able to love him back as soon as he recognized the other's feelings. He didn't want his friend to leave when thigns had obviously gotten broken yet again between them. That would kill Mori if he were to just to leave now...

Kyuzo remained where he was and as he looked to Mori and his face buried into his chest just made the adult feel very badly which was probably what caused a expression full of sorrow to wash over his face. Just noticing it, Mori didn't want him to leave and was hurt by the fact that Kyuzo said he would leave. Kyuzo noted it as another reckless thing that he had done which hurt the one he cared about. The adult actually felt the urge to just rip off his mask despite what would happen to him next. Kyuzo's left hand went up to his mask and felt around for any sign of weakness in its design. The 185 year old adult may try to remove it himself but then that would hurt Mori more would it not. Kyuzo's expression became a pained one as he lowered his hand and look down full obviously ashamed of his own thoughts at this moment.

Mori didn't realize it quite at first but he had come to fall asleep..............At the most unlikely of times. Seeing as how he didn't get any sleep before, it seemed to take a toll on him now and not to mention what he did earlier when he was hugging Kyuzo and his eyes were red. It all seemed to come together and completly wear him out. Though his body practically though slowly went limp upon Kyuzo's, his hands still instinctivly clung to his friend with a silent desperation.

Kyuzo seemed to look from one side to another before sitting up with Mori still on him and as he lays back does he place Mori onto himself. The adult thought it would be best to do this since Mori was still clinging to him, Kyuzo had a hurt expression on his face still as he looked upward and as he stared upward he couldn't help but let a shakey breath out. Kyuzo didn't know what to think at this moment and so staying silent was the next best thing. Everything in the adults life was all turned around due to this mask being on his face, Kyuzo feared that they may never be able to take it off but that fear was washed away as he laid his head back and looked completely worn out. Weird pains entered his head at that moment, Kyuzo's eye narrowed and as it narrowed did he inwardly twitch from inside of his body rather than outside of his body. Kyuzo touched the mask again feeling the cool material on his fingers and he narrowed his eye some as he felt around the mask some more. What was the purpose of the humans putting this on him and he guessed it was for one thing, Kyuzo had guessed that it was that one thing and that it was a torment device. Shifting his head to the side, Kyuzo couldn't stop himself from shaking from the inside.

Mori flicked his ears slightly, beginning to feel Kyuzo's dis-ease but he couldn't find the power in him to wake up from the trance he was in. Though that strange feeling begun to settle in him again and his eyelashes fluttered as his eyes turned red under his eyelids once again. If he were looking at something or awake, then someone might have noticed but seeing as how he was asleep, the secret was still safe. The power tried to send a calming aura through Kyuzo though he was not asleep nor was he really dreaming so Mori had nothing to visulize. The power was weak because of both of these factors...it was only a slight feeling like a suggestion or rather a nudge to grow calm..

Kyuzo looked back to Mori and as he does so he can't help but not show much emotion on his features and after some time of watching Mori did he smirk just a bit. Humans were just like them, that was what Kyuzo would have said right now but he disliked them right now. Feared them is the term that Kyuzo didn't like to use but in a way he was afraid of Humans. Closing his eye now as he laid his head back, the adult felt calm but he didn't know why. Kyuzo wasn't going to think about it long though since he felt a weird heaviness on him right now and he guessed it was another tired spell.

Mori dozed on Kyuzo, not feeling the other shift him around, not really minding because like a cat, he didn't mind at all just as long as he was comfortable and asleep. The neko's ears twitched slightly though as he dreamt of nothing which was a first because usually when he would fall asleep. The first thing that would happen was that the memory nightmares would pop up and destroy whatever peace he had hoped to gain by falling asleep. Feeling a more calm atmosphere around the other male caused him to relax slightly and he managed to appear a little more peaceful and give a light hum in his sleep, burying his face into Kyuzo's chest.

Kyuzo couldn't help it and so he wrapped his arms around Mori softly and was very careful not to disturb his slumber. The adult then laid his head back and rested his eye by closing it and as time passed by slowly, Kyuzo could only think of all that he had been through. Kyuzo could never hate the humans but deep down if he met with a human he may come to lose his temper much like when someone speaks badly about his sister. Kyuzo's mind then placed him into a dream where he had no vision for his eyes were closed. The 185 year old wondered all over the place in this dream world. Kyuzo didn't know it but he was silently mumbling things in his sleep as this dream slowly went away and was replaced with nothing. After that happened, Kyuzo opened his eye and at that moment he did that did he close his eyes as a faint trail of tears escaped his eyes. "Gomenosai...!" Kyuzo remembered that when he was dreaming about nothing did he see his father standing there with a sorrowful look which was then replaced with Mori who had clung to him. This was the adults way of making himself feel better, Kyuzo thought of it that way for he let all of his negative feelings out.

Mori was silent and peaceful before he felt Kyuzo start to move around in his sleep and the other neko started to squirm in his sleep, groaning quietly, his face burrowing into the other's chest as his ears were twitching. The black haired teenager groaned quietly, his ears twitching slight, showing his discomfort and he squirmed some more, his eyes opening just a bit, the red hues staring hazily into the the kimono he clung to. Still half asleep, he yawned and relaxed as Kyuzo woke up but he heard a yell that made him jump and his eyes quickly reverted back to blajck. He glanced to Kyuzo, warily and silently asked the question with a curious look.
"Kyuzo-kun?;"

Kyuzo heard his named being called and he looked to Mori kind of sharply before looking to the side to hide his expression on his face as well as his pain. "Gomenosai..." The adult felt ashamed for what he had did and now he wanted Mori to go back to sleep for if he continues to make him worry then Kyuzo will feel worse for Mori rather than himself. Kyuzo softly brought Mori's forehead to his lips as he placed a soft kiss on Mori's head and after doing that did he speak softly. "I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep, just a bad dream or maybe a emotional dream. Who knows..." Kyuzo closed his eye as he leaned his head back some to try and get rid of the feelings that appeared in his weakened heart.

Mori blinked to the apology, his eyes slightly unfocused due to him being woken up from a napand he felt Kyuzo's lips brush against his forehead once again causing his ears to twitch.He looked uncertain about faljling back to sleep when there was clearly an aura of dis-ease around his friend. But sensing the other's need to just think things through, he lowered his head and settled down on Kyuzo's chest once again. He laid still, forcing himself to close his eyes and try to find sleep yet he remained awake even if his senses and nerves were a bit slow on teh uptake.

Kyuzo laid there with a unknown gaze and he couldn't help but look to Mori before closing his eye softly and wanting some kind of attention for his mind was swirling with weird thoughts. "Mori-san...?" The adult sat up and ignoring the pain and such in his head did he stroke the black hair very tenderly which belonged to Mori. "I..may need you to tire me out again." Kyuzo placed his lips onto Mori's forehead and before he could stop himself he placed a kiss there and did a silent moan. The 185 year old was at a lost of what was going on and not only that but he felt the mask act weird as well for it had come to feel less of a bother which confused him beyond belief. Kyuzo thought that this mask meant something and that he had to correct it, but maybe he had to try to fix his flaws of looking down on himself as well as saying sorry to those that he had lost or had come to hurt from the past. If that were true, Kyuzo could take off the mask though he just needed to keep feeling sorry and actually mean it. "I love you, though you do not feel the same for me. I just want you to know that, and I am sorry if this is causing you problems. I want you to forgive me, Mori-san. Cause well if you didn't then chances are...well you know."

Kyuzo flinched and he looked to the side before shaking violently as he softly removed Mori off of him, a wincing pain came back to him deep down a heavy feeling. The adult closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head and now a new feeling washed over him, Kyuzo guessed that he was hurting Mori way to much emotionally and chances are he may leave him alone entirely. "What can I say Mori-san? I'm distressed and have a hole in my heart. I'm confused and at the end of my rope. I knew that this would do harm to you than it would do to me. Gomenosai..." Kyuzo stood up and as he did so did he bow his head softly and on his face was sure of devastation for causing Mori the one he cared for so much grief. It would take a long time to fix his broken heart and the adult knew it.

Mori blinked as he was pushed off of Kyuzo and he stared at the man as he apologized again for what he did, whatever he did, and bowed. The neko frowned and rubbed the temples of his head. It didn't make any sense. Why would he keep bringing it up? It wasn't going to change in less than five minutes or a couple of hours of sleep. Mori was confused on his feels, trying hard not to feel guilty though he wasn't sure why for some reason though he knew why he was feeling partly guilty because he could tell that his confusion was hurting the other but the persistance was also hurting him and he couldn't find himself to really come through. What was expected of him and what he wanted to do were two different things and it was hurting his to even comprhend what was going on. His ears lowered in defeat and he looked up at Kyuzo.

"I'm sorry...It's not your fault. You've been through alot...But please...just..."

The neko stopped there. He wanted Kyuzo to stop thinking about their relationship. Maybe it was because the teenager couldn't stand to think about it since it was questionable, their friendship or whatever it was now. Mori looked down and away, feeling awful once again. He wanted to shut up or erase what he had just said but there was no way he could do that. And there was also no way that he could ever lose Kyuzo. But was he hurting him by keeping him so close?

"Please don't leave..."

Kyuzo kept his head bowed with his eye fixed on the floor, it was very clear that the adult didn't want Mori to see his face since well there was complications coming from his mask at this moment. The 185 year old didn't know what to say or do since the mask didn't feel like a mask at this moment and so he sighed softly and closed his eye silently. "Mori-san, you say that I have been through alot but it is you who has had it harder. You are in no condition to continue such a relationship. Not now anyway, I realize that now and so I don't want to make you feel any more worse than you already feel." Kyuzo bit his tongue lightly before lifting his head and smiling poorly to Mori. "You don't want me to leave, is it not obvious that well I'm causing problems?"

Mori stared at Kyuzo intently, his ears stretched backwards, nearly disappearing into his hair and a frown had spread itself across his lips, full of worry and slight dis-ease, as if it was prickling through his skin and he wasn't entirely sure of how he was supposed to be acting. He tensed at Kyuzo's words and immediately began to shake his head. He did have problems, he was going through a lot but not anymore. The last death had been over half a year ago and he had to realize sooner or later that he wasn't coming back...Mori couldn't let something drag him down so low that he was no longer able to help out his friends and though what Kyuzo said about relationships made him think twice about what he was thinking, he stared down distractedly at the sheets and plucked at a free string absently. He ignored his friend's poor excuse for a smile and lightly hit the bed with a enclosed fist, glaring up at Kyuzo as he said that he was causing the problems. This relationshiop thing that he was talking about was probably the only thing that seemed to unerve Mori. While being able to flirt and tease, he was not one to actually get into a relationship. He wasn't even sure how he had fallen in love with Kirin in the first place. It was just...there, before he knew it. And feeling the rising and falling of feelings and emotions was not something he was looking forward to again. The pain of not knowing and not being able to know versus the sweet smiles, the shared looks, and the understanding...

"Why is it, that when you say you will leave, that I feel I will not see you again if you do...? Kyuzo...I will kill myself if I was never allowed to see you again. If I realize that this is our last meeting. I will do everything in my power to stop these pains...I won't be able to handle it...."

He said truthfully, his voice full of self-hatred and a slight desperation. He glared down at his sheets and forced himself not to cry. He was suicidal. He was not afraid to take his own life though he despised other people that did it. How can someone love another when they don't even lose themselves...

Kyuzo's face was a shocked one that blew his poor excuse of a smile off of his face, a pure on feeling of never ending emotion flooded through his veins. The adult closed his eyes and bit the bottom half of his lip actually leaving a red mark there. Kyuzo felt something and before he could react did the mask disconnect itself from the left half of his face making him twitch as the mask hit the floor and shattered into a ton of miny shards. Weird feelings rushed through him then and it felt sort of hard to breath and so he undid his hair band to let his raven locks of hair flow about him in a careless manner. "That won't work, Mori-san." The tone of voice that was used was strangled and hard to hear since his hearing was going in and out at this moment. Kyuzo shook his head with sweat streaming off of his face, a side effect of the mask coming off of his face at that moment.

Without reacting, and acting on instinct did Kyuzo bit his lip again making it bleed this time before he took a hold of Mori's shoulders and brought him up on his knees and saying in a hushed tone. "Mori-san don't you realize what you are saying! I don't want to put anymore stress on you, but since you said you would kill yourself if not being able to see me again then I have no choice." Kyuzo wrapped his left arm around Mori's neck and brought his head under his as he came down on his knees. "To start my life over, you have to be alive..." When the mask feel off of his face he felt that he spent a bit of his life hating life and now that it had finally fallen he actually wanted to redo his life. Get rid of his memories of his family, and the death of his sister was the one hard step but he knew he could move on from everything and so he was going to reach his goal of a new life and for that to work then Mori would have to be alive and well. Kyuzo felt a sharp connection with Mori, when they had first met things were awkward but a friendship was made but through all that they have been through and everything else. The adult now finally able to use both of his eyes actually wanted nothing more to clean his slate.

Mori heard something shatter and he looked towards the floor from the sound had come and he stared in confusion as the broken mask before opening his mouth to question it but Kyuzo spoke before him and he slowly closed his mouth once again and he didn’t know what to say. What had happened? The mask just…fell off. Without any warning. What had happened? Mori certainly couldn’t explain it, he didn’t know what to say, there was nothing he really could do. The neko flicked his ears as he felt hands on his shoulders and he tried to look up but instead was brought into Kyuzo’s chest as he continue to keep up his silence, dull eyes staring into the kimono fabric as he listened attentively to the other. It was true…Mori was broken even though he may appear to be strong at some times. There was too much internal damage inside that he would no longer deal with. There was nothing he would like more than to have it end it all. He had tried many times but there was always someone around to keep him from doing anything stupid. There were times when he had taken the pain upon himself but it would never be enough and he would feel even more guilty for trying to do something stupid like cutting himself or purposely getting into fights and allowing himself to get hurt. He sighed and relaxed into Kyuzo, now slightly relieved that he would be able to continue seeing the other though there was still a bit of guilt in him. Pulling away, he looked up at his friend and frowned slightly, reaching up with a hand to brush it lightly against the other side of Kyuzo’s face that was covered by the mask.

“What had happened? Your mask…”

Kyuzo felt the touch and didn't blink much though he did close his eyes to the touch, he was actually surprised that he could feel anything now. The adult guessed that all the emotions he must of been harboring added into one large channel of energy of somekind, which made the mask short out and caused it to fall. Either that, or Kyuzo actually had fixed something in him which he could of never fixed himself before. The 185 year old adult however was surprised and didn't know what to say, and when Mori spoke about what happened to the mask he honestly didn't know what to say. This was one of those times that confused Kyuzo well beyond anything he had ever felt before. Though, he was happy and was glad that it was finally off and it didn't do any damage to him or left any scars. Kyuzo chuckled softly making his body sort of shake for he was feeling another sort of defect which came from the mask. To him though he just thought that his body did that only cause the mask fell off and quite quickly to, then again Kyuzo's body must of been under stress when the mask was still connected to his skin for that kind of short time, speaking of which the feeling in his left side of his face was weak and that would probably go away after sometime. "I honestly do not know what had happened. I suppose I felt to much emotions at once which in turn killed the mask's main function. Though, I could be wrong about that."

Mori was surprised to see that the other didn’t flinch when he was touched and he slanted his ears back just a bit as he rubbed a thumb across Kyuzo’s cheek, just making sure that he wasn’t going to hurt the other, slightly worried about the other’s health. The mask was strange, he didn’t understand what sort of technology that the humans had and that made everything a little more difficult. He blinked as he heard Kyuzo chuckle and he tilted his head curiously, wondering what the other found amusing and he pulled at Kyuzo’s sleeve, urging the dark haired man to sit down because he felt weak to Mori and he needed to rest. The neko flicked his ears upon what he said and he looked down to the shattered mask on the floor.

“Well,…It would be useless to try and search that thing for answers…It’s too damaged to research properly…”

Kyuzo felt nothing on the left side of his face, which really sort of confused him but he thought since it hadn't been touched or anything due to the mask then of course it would lose its feeling for the time being. When the adult noticed that, Kyuzo felt a little better since it was normal for something to lose its feeling when it had not been touched or used for a short time. Noting the pulling on his sleeve however did catch his attention some what and so he sat down but in a weird way for it was like he was double checking if he was sitting on the bed before actually sitting on it. Kyuzo sighed and his left eyelid twitched which in turn made small forms of sweat go down a good portion of his face, to him it felt way to hot and he wondered if that was normal. Opening his eyes lightly and feeling a burning sensation in his left eye did make him wince to that pain and nothing more. "True. Yatta..." Kyuzo's response was a little on the odd side but he was trying his best to ignore the feeling in the left half of his face now.